Category: Essays (Page 2 of 5)

There’s a new outlet in town for those who find Fox News too intellectually rigorous, who consider Newsmax too balanced, and who believe that reality itself has a liberal bias. It’s called The White House Wire (WHWire) and it’s not satire. It’s the White House’s personal “news” site—funded by taxpayers, branded by government, and built to serve a single purpose: to glorify Donald J. Trump.

After years of railing against “fake news,” Trump has finally done what every strongman eventually dreams of: he’s nationalized propaganda and rebranded it as journalism. This isn’t some backchannel blog or partisan newsletter—it’s hosted on whitehouse.gov, wrapped in stars and stripes, and pumped out with all the elegance of a used car commercial crossed with a North Korean scrapbook.

This is not mere spin. It’s not the usual political press release, nor even a strategic communications platform. This is information warfare against the American people. The Wire contains no dissent, no complexity, no policy details. Only photos of Trump pointing sternly. Trump shaking hands. Trump saving the country. It is the official bulletin of the Dear Leader cult, and it exists for one reason: to eliminate the possibility of thought.

The White House describes WHWire as a “direct channel to the people”—a noble phrase if it weren’t dripping with autocratic contempt. What they mean is this: the truth is what we say it is, and we will no longer tolerate the inconvenience of questions. There are no journalists, no editors, no scrutiny. There are only headlines like “President Trump Saves American Families Again”, delivered in bold fonts with the subtlety of jackboots.

It is the latest maneuver in Trump’s coup on truth. In another era, a head of state might have taken over the press with bayonets and blacklists. Trump, in his uniquely American way, simply built a faster, shinier feed and handed it to his loyalists like a crack pipe filled with ego fumes. If Fox won’t worship him with enough fervor, he’ll cut out the middleman and do it himself.

This isn’t politics—it’s a personality cult. No administration failures will ever appear on WHWire. No mention of policy rollbacks, migrant roundups, or broken systems. You won’t read about dissent inside the Pentagon, the courts, or the American public. You’ll only read glory. You’ll only see triumph. If he could, Trump would deliver it from golden tablets.

And don’t make the mistake of dismissing this as laughable. That’s what free people always do—until they’re no longer free. The dictator never arrives all at once. He arrives in waves of normalization. He arrives in convenient apps and comforting slogans. He arrives dressed in red, white, and blue, saying he’s here to protect you from the liars, the immigrants, the journalists, and the “vermin” in your own country.

With The WHWire, Trump is not just rewriting the news. He’s erasing the very idea that facts can be negotiated through discourse. This is the final stage of the authoritarian media model: a single voice, a single version, a single vision. It’s Pravda with a MAGA hat logo.

So let this be understood: WHWire is not a news service. It is a symptom. It is a warning sign flashing in neon red. It says: We are no longer pretending. It says: You will be told what to believe, or you will be silenced.

This is not a partisan issue. It’s a constitutional one. A moral one. An American one. And if we Americans are still ignoring the sound of the boots trampling across our liberties, then we’ll soon find the static of freedom replaced with one consistent message: Obey.

“Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them.”

Frederick Douglass

Imagine this:

A group of heavily armed state agents kicks down the door of a private home before dawn. The mother is dragged onto the front lawn in her underwear, her daughters beside her, trembling and half-naked. There’s no time to explain, no moment to gather dignity, no hearing, no defense. Their phones, their laptops, their cash—all confiscated. When the agents leave, they offer no apology, no explanation, and no help. The family is left humiliated, violated, and stranded.

You’d be forgiven for thinking this was a story from Stalin’s Russia or Hitler’s Germany. A midnight knock. Innocents accused. Property seized. Families shattered. You’d be forgiven, but you’d be wrong.

This happened in the United States of America, in Oklahoma City, in April 2025, under the thug leadership of Donald J. Trump and his authoritarian goon squad.

The woman’s name is Marisa. She’s a U.S. citizen. Her daughters are U.S. citizens. They had recently moved from Maryland. They committed no crime. They weren’t even connected to the people named in the search warrant, people who didn’t live there and had no relation to the family. The agents- ICE, FBI, and U.S. Marshals- simply stormed in, stripped Marisa and her young daughters (all U.S. citizens) of their rights, their safety, and their humanity.

They ransacked the home. They called everything “evidence.” They stole the family’s phones, laptops, and life savings. Agents pointed guns at them and questioned their citizenship status. When Marisa indicated she was a citizen, she was ignored. When Marisa pleaded with the agents, told them she had no way now to buy food or gas for her children, she was met with the casual indifference of a man who thinks violence is just paperwork: “It was a little rough this morning,” a senior ICE supervisor at the scene said.

A little rough.

This is what tyranny looks like: not in black uniforms with swastikas, but in windbreakers marked ICE. Not sneakily out of sight, but with the confident entitlement of bureaucrats who believe the law is whatever they say it is today. No trial. No oversight. No consequences. Just state-sanctioned terror.

This is not an isolated incident. It is a metastasizing cancer. In the name of immigration enforcement and “law and order,” Trump’s regime has deputized a domestic secret police. They raid homes like idiot stormtroopers, now with the wrong address, the wrong family, the wrong everything—but with exactly the kind of authoritarian impunity we fought world wars to stop.

Where is the apology? Nowhere. Not a single comment from anyone responsible.

Where is the restitution? Still waiting.

Where is the statement from ICE? Silent.

Where is the accountability from the Trump administration? As always, hiding behind slogans and lies.

Our new Gestapo stole this family’s dignity and then walked away like it was nothing. This is the America we now live in, where being a citizen no longer guarantees safety from the state. The Constitution means nothing to these people. Due process is an ignored and ridiculed. This isn’t a war on “illegals”, this is a war on all of us.

They stole this family’s dignity and left them barefoot on their own lawn, like war refugees in their own goddamn country. This isn’t a policy failure, it’s a moral collapse engineered by men too small to wield power gracefully, but too cruel to give it up.

And what do we do? We write sternly worded essays and letters. We shake our heads. We protest by hashtag.

Enough.

Don’t tell me to vote harder. Don’t tell me to wait for a press release. Tell me what you’re going to do when agents with the wrong name and the wrong address and the wrong fucking values show up again. Because they will.

Tell me you’re ready to drag this rotting, bootlicking infrastructure of unaccountable power into the light and burn it clean.

Tell me you still give a damn about the words in the Constitution, or at least about the people it’s supposed to protect.

Because the federal government now makes ignorant and terrible mistakes and spins them as policy. If there’s no justice for Marisa, no consequences for these jackbooted thugs who shattered her family’s sense of safety, then this nation deserves every ounce of unrest that comes next.

Donald Trump is demanding an investigation into ActBlue, the Democratic fundraising platform that has helped fuel progressive campaigns through small-dollar donations.

ActBlue raised concerns for various reasons:

• Foreign Contributions: Reports indicate that, over a 30-day period in 2024, ActBlue processed 237 donations from foreign IP addresses using prepaid cards, raising concerns about foreign nationals influencing U.S. elections . 
• Straw Donor Schemes: Allegations suggest that large contributions were potentially broken down into smaller amounts and attributed to individuals without their consent, violating federal election laws . 
• Lax Verification Practices: Until 2024, ActBlue did not require any Card Verification Value (CVV) codes for credit card donations. That’s a pretty standard security measure to buy socks online, so yeah, should probably be part of political donations. Additionally, internal documents reportedly instructed staff to “look for reasons to accept contributions,” even when suspicious . 

So clearly, there’s a legal rationale for scrutiny of ActBlue—any major pipeline of political money deserves oversight.

But this is not about fairness. It’s not about protecting democracy. It’s not even about transparency.

It’s about power.

And power only pretends to care about justice when its throne is threatened.

ActBlue is being cast as a villain not because it broke the rules more egregiously than others—but because it has succeeded. It has disrupted the traditional flow of money, giving rise to left-wing candidates outside of party control. It’s a threat not because of what it does, but because of who it benefits.

Looking in the Mirror

Meanwhile, WinRed—Trump’s own campaign fundraising machine—has a track record riddled with allegations of deceit.

• Deceptive Recurring Donation Practices: WinRed has been accused of misleading donors into making recurring contributions through pre-checked boxes on donation forms. These practices allegedly led to donors, particularly the elderly, unknowingly committing to repeated donations. In some cases, individuals reported being charged multiple times without clear consent. This prompted investigations by attorneys general in four states—Minnesota, New York, Connecticut, and Maryland—into potential violations of consumer protection laws .
• Failure to Disclose Operating Expenses: Despite processing over $2.8 billion in contributions since its inception in 2019, WinRed reported less than $2,700 in operating expenses during that period. This discrepancy raised concerns about transparency and compliance with federal campaign finance laws. The Campaign Legal Center filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission (FEC), alleging that WinRed’s lack of disclosure obscures the true cost of its operations and prevents public accountability .
• Legal Challenges to State Investigations: In response to state-level investigations, WinRed argued that federal campaign finance laws preempt state consumer protection laws, seeking to block these probes. However, a federal appeals court ruled that state attorneys general could proceed with their investigations, stating that federal law does not shield WinRed from state-level enforcement actions regarding deceptive practices .

These are not conspiracy theories; they’re documented cases, even the subject of investigations and lawsuits. Yet Trump has not called for transparency there. No executive order. No moral panic.

Because WinRed serves the king.

This is the problem with selective justice. When one platform is targeted while its mirror image is protected, the law becomes a cudgel of convenience—a sword drawn not in defense of the public, but in service to a ruler.

We must stop pretending that political corruption only exists when it’s across the aisle. If the standard is ethical fundraising, both ActBlue and WinRed should be under scrutiny. But if the standard is loyalty, then we are not a nation of laws—we are a court of royal favor.

Trump’s war on ActBlue is not a campaign for clean elections. It’s a strategic assault meant to weaken his enemies while shielding his allies. That’s not justice. That’s monarchy.

And monarchy, as history has shown us, prefers not only obedience—but silence.

Let us refuse both.

Today I let go of a friend.

Not because we disagreed — disagreement is the cost of freedom — but because when the moment came to choose between anger and purpose, he chose anger.

He had shared a story: a gay father standing before a school board, pleading for the protection of children from premature sexualization and the forced celebration of adult topics like gender identity debates in the lives of the young.

I agreed. I thought we could stand together. Surely, this was a cause beyond politics.

But it wasn’t enough for him. He needed a villain with a party label.

He needed this to be not about protecting children, but about condemning Democrats. The fact I am not a Democrat proved immaterial- I did not share his vitriol so I was little better than his declared monsters.

I answered with care. I said division will not save the vulnerable. I said the children do not care about party lines. I said what matters is the shield we build around them, not the banners we wave above ourselves.

In return, he accused me — subtly at first, then not so subtly — of siding with the enemy. No, worse! of supporting the abuse on children.

There is a particular sorrow in moments like these. The sorrow of realizing that someone you respected does not truly want to fix what is broken — they only want a clearer view of the battlefield.

They want a righteous war, not a righteous peace.

So I walked away.

It is easy to be angry. I get angry too. It is easy to find a scapegoat, easy to shout about evil in the abstract while ignoring the simple work of actually protecting what is good.

It is harder to stay focused on solutions instead of blame.

Harder to reach across divides and say: Your child is my child too.

Harder to say: I will fight with anyone who fights for the innocent, and against anyone who uses them for political fuel.

Today I mourn that friendship, but I will not mourn the choice.

Because to stay would be to accept a world where the safety of children is just another weapon in a wider war. Where our most vulnerable and innocent are nothing more than a means to an end, all disguised as righteous and pure intent.

I would rather stand alone, with my arms open to any who wish to protect what is sacred, than stand together with those who only want to destroy. Perhaps my arms will remain empty in the end.

But there is no victory in hatred.

There is no righteousness in rage.

There is only the cause — or the betrayal of it.

I choose the cause.

Even if it costs me every friend I once thought I had.

In the interest of understanding the evolution of internal state security forces, it is worth stepping back to examine the structure and methods of one of the most effective and feared domestic policing agencies of the 20th century: the Geheime Staatspolizei, more commonly known as the Gestapo.

Though frequently invoked in discussions of totalitarian excess, few modern observers are aware of the bureaucratic precision, technological innovation, and legal acrobatics the Gestapo employed in the name of national order. It was not chaos—it was policy. And its techniques, however controversial, were astonishingly methodical.

Gestapo operations often began in the early morning hours, capitalizing on the element of surprise. Agents rarely wore uniforms and typically arrived in coordination with local law enforcement partners. They would approach residences or workplaces of suspected undesirables with minimal paperwork—sometimes no judicial warrant at all, but rather an internal authorization signed by superiors within the executive security apparatus.

Resistance against the Gestapo was rare. Most citizens knew that opposition was dangerous, and those who attempted it often found that entire families could be implicated as a result.

An innovation of the Gestapo was its concept of the “collateral suspect.” If the primary target of an operation was not present or could not be apprehended quickly, any nearby individual suspected of association—regardless of specific charges—could be detained. Such individuals, once ensnared, often found themselves unable to contact lawyers or family, especially during the crucial first days of confinement. Children were not spared. In many cases, the agency separated minors from their guardians as a matter of administrative routine. The bureaucratic justification was always rooted in a desire to process individuals “efficiently.”

The Gestapo’s holding facilities were often overcrowded and chaotic, though the paperwork surrounding them was immaculate. Official reports described detainees as receiving necessary medical care and access to counsel, but accounts from within the system tell us a different story: untreated illnesses, psychological trauma, physical abuse, and in some cases, inexplicable hysterectomies performed without consent. Oversight was minimal. When violations did surface, they were buried beneath jurisdictional confusion or passed off as anomalies.

Beyond the physical realm, the Gestapo distinguished itself through the use of surveillance technologies. It created and maintained vast volumes of information on civilians, often contracting with private firms to develop and manage internal tracking systems. This allowed the agency to monitor targets across jurisdictions, compiling detailed profiles that could be used to justify future arrests or deny privileges. These systems extended to license plate tracking, spying on social interactions, and reading personal correspondence—all under the doctrine of preemptive threat mitigation.

The stated justification for these measures was always the same: national security, border integrity, and public safety. But the unspoken function was deterrence through fear. The presence of the agency—its unmarked vehicles, its quiet cooperation with local authorities, its ability to act without clear legal limits—was enough to instill obedience in much of the population. The rest were made examples.

And Now, The Truth

I have played fast and loose with you here, but beg your forgiveness. The truth is every single atrocity and tyrannical detail given above is from contemporary actions of our own Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

These methods, of course, were also hallmarks of the Gestapo—agents of a fascist regime who operated without constraint, who twisted legality into cruelty, and who made fear a tool of governance.

Replace “Gestapo” with “ICE,” and you will find no fiction—only a mirror. We have not escaped the machinery of repression. We have merely rebranded it.

What should shake us is not that such tactics once existed, but that they exist again. What should frighten the hell out of you is that I wrote this entire essay about ICE, then search-and-replaced with Gestapo and it made perfect sense*.

Every detail above—every raid, every separated child, every faceless detention and warrantless arrest—is not a relic of history, but a fact of current American policy.

This began years before Trump ever waddled into the White House and we sat idly by. Trump is now taking it to the next level, testing our resolve daily by pushing the limits. This is authoritarianism 101.

Resistance is never futile. Now, not tomorrow. You, not that other citizen. Get moving, make noise, stop ignoring what is clearly happening to our country.

History is not just repeating—it is escalating. The question is no longer whether this is tyranny. The question is whether you have the spine to defy it.

_{*The only edit I made to a contemporary activity was that ICE monitors both social media and personal emails. As it would have been anachronistic for the Gestapo to be involved with either, I changed the mention to “social interactions” and “personal correspondence.”}

Greg Gutfeld, that smug court jester of cable fascism, recently posed a question he thought was clever:

“Is there any dirtbag Democrats won’t defend?”

Let me answer that for you, Greg.

No.

While I am not a Democrat, I defend every dirtbag on earth if it means defending them from tyranny. If a Democrat wants to join me in that – or a member of any other political party- I welcome them.

I don’t support the “dirtbags” because I like them. Not because I necessarily agree with them. Not because they think like me. Not because their skin is a certain hue like mine or if they are or are not sporting a stupid red hat.

I stand by the “dirtbags” because due process is not a reward for good behavior. It’s a right. And rights don’t disappear just because you find someone disgusting.

This Isn’t About Dirtbags—It’s About Discipline

I’m not a Democrat. I’m not a Republican. I don’t play party politics games. I’m not interested in whatever middle-school food fight your party is staging this week to keep people stupid, scared, and sedated.

What I am interested in is the core principle that separates civilization from a mob with torches:

You don’t skip the trial just because you hate the defendant.

You don’t hang people solely in the court of public opinion and call it justice.

You don’t equate criticism of abuse of power with defense of a criminal. This is the lazy, stupid approach taken by people too weak to admit their bigotry and desire for vengeance over justice.

If someone is accused, they get due process.

A charge is made.

An investigation is conducted.

A trial is held.

A verdict is rendered.

That’s how it works—for saints, sinners, and yes, even dirtbags.

The Moment You Abandon That, You Are the Threat

If you start saying some people don’t deserve rights because of who they are, what they’ve done, or how hated they are, then congratulations:

You’re not defending the system. You’re dismantling it.

You’re not tough on crime. You’re soft on tyranny.

You’re not making America great. You’re making it unrecognizable.

Rights are not just for the innocent.

They’re especially for the accused.

Because once you decide someone isn’t worthy of process, all it takes is power and a lie to make anyone the next target.

What You Call “Defending Dirtbags,” I Call Having a Spine

If defending someone’s right to a fair trial means I get called soft, partisan, or “pro-dirtbag,” then so be it. I’d rather be called that by a TV clown than be complicit in burning down the pillars of justice just to score a political point.

So here’s your answer, Greg:

Yes, I’ll defend the dirtbag.

Yes, I’ll defend the bastard.

Yes, I’ll defend the loudmouth, the liar, the accused, the guilty-looking, and the absolutely rotten—because I refuse to let people like you decide who gets rights and who doesn’t.

I would even defend your rights you pathetic worm.

Due process is not optional. It’s not partisan. It’s not a privilege.

It’s not yours to revoke and it isn’t ours to grant. It is a guaranteed right for all persons, not just legal citizens*.

It is the line in the sand between freedom and fucking fascism.

Get it through your head.

---

_{*This is where the clever crowd likes to say “the Alien Enemies Act overrules the 5th Amendment, Brutus”. It doesn’t. Nothing overrules the Constitution or its amendments. The Alien Enemies Act allows detention or deportation based solely on nationality in wartime, without the need for a criminal charge or a trial. And it has never been sufficiently ruled on by the Supreme Court.
But we are not at war except in the ridiculous mental games played by Trump and his sycophantic minions.
And if the Alien Enemies Act is legal, lets pretend, and Abrego is a citizen of El Salvador (which is a favorite argument of the right) and we have a financial agreement with El Salvador to imprison people…how can we be at war with El Salvador? Only the demented minds of Trump and his sheep could somehow find that rational.}

It happens every time someone posts about injustice, corruption, or authoritarian overreach:

Some half-awake contrarian rolls into the comments and drops the laziest, most cowardly phrase in the modern playbook:

“Get a life.”

It’s the digital equivalent of a shrug and a smirk—designed to silence, to belittle, to imply that caring too much is the real problem. Not injustice. Not abuse of power. But you. For noticing. But us. For not silently watching the walls fall down around us.

So let’s break it down.

Why Do People Speak Out on Social Media?

Because it’s a primary public square now.

It’s where conversations happen.

It’s where elections are shaped, narratives are built, and silence is interpreted as consent.

When someone raises hell about policy, about fascism creeping in through the back front door, about lies becoming law, about hatred as a policy—they’re not doing it because they’re bored.

They’re doing it because they still believe participation matters. Because history has shown us what happens when people don’t speak up.

You don’t say “get a life” to someone ringing the fire alarm.

You say it to the people playing cards in the basement while the house burns down.

Apathy Is Not a Personality

If you think tuning out makes you cool, it doesn’t.

If your political ideology is “whatever,” you are not free—you’re just tranquilized.

And if your entire contribution to public discourse is calling people “obsessed” or “dramatic” for refusing to normalize authoritarianism, then you are part of the problem.

Indifference is the life blood of tyranny.

And in this climate, staying silent isn’t neutral—it’s permission.

Get a Life? This Is Life.

We post about politics because it decides whether someone can afford insulin.

We post because courts are being stacked, rights are being stripped, and leaders are behaving like kings with no consequences.

We post because some judges are trying to do their part as equals with the executive branch and being ignored with no ramifications.

We post because due process matters, due process is the most important right a person within the borders of this country has, regardless what you think of that person.

We post because if you don’t speak up now, you don’t get to play victim later.

So next time you want to type “get a life,” stop yourself. Ask instead: why does this person care? Why don’t I?

Because the world doesn’t need more spectators. It needs people who give enough of a good God damn to raise their voice—even if it’s just a post, a comment, a shout into the algorithm.

And if that makes you uncomfortable?

Good. That’s called waking up. Now get off your ass and do something.

Let’s be absolutely clear: what is happening in the Trump administration isn’t immigration policy—it’s a fucking clown show with jackboots.
On April 16, Trump administration once again doubled down on the deportation of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a man they claim is connected to MS-13. Not because they offered any evidence. Not because they followed any due process. But because they felt like it.
Because someone else with brown skin and a Spanish surname, committed a horrific crime—and that’s close enough for them.

This is not justice.
This is not national security.
This is the weaponization of racism at the federal level, with the full force of the government pointed at anyone who looks like they might not belong.

The Logic of Lunatics

Let’s walk through what they’re really saying here:

• A man in Maryland is deported.
• The administration is asked, “Why?”
• They have no actual evidence of gang affiliation.
• So they respond with: “Well, someone else with a similar background murdered a woman.”

That’s not justification. That’s a hate crime masquerading as a policy.
That’s guilt by proximity. Guilt by phenotype. Guilt by accent.

This isn’t even dog-whistle racism—it’s ignorant hatred by air horn.

The Casual Evil of Collective Blame

Here’s the thing: the crime they pointed to was horrific. Rachel Morin, was raped and murdered in August 2023 by a proven MS-13 member, Victor Antonio Martinez-Hernandez. He was tried and found guilty. The system worked the way it’s supposed to via due process—investigation, prosecution, conviction.

But instead of upholding the value of that due process, the Trump administration used that tragedy as a prop to justify deporting an entirely different person.
Not based on evidence.
Not based on crime.
Based on ethnicity. Based on national origin. Based on fear.

Imagine this:
A white man in Alabama commits a murder—so some white guy in Ohio gets arrested to “send a message.”
It would be a national scandal.
It would be unconstitutional.
It would be—**and this is the word we need to stop dancing around—fascism.

This Is Not Incompetence. It’s Intentional.

Don’t give this administration the benefit of the doubt. This isn’t just ignorance.
It’s strategy.

The Trump administration thrives on false equivalence and collective blame.
They aren’t interested in evidence.
They’re focus is on promoting fear.
They want you to look at your tattooed neighbor in a hoodie and wonder if he’s a criminal too.
They want you to believe that every immigrant is a criminal, every asylum seeker is a liar, every deportation is justice.

It’s racism, sanitized by bureaucracy, cheered by cowards, and spun by sycophants.

We Must Burn This Narrative to the Ground

This is the time to be unflinching.

Deporting a man without evidence is tyranny.
Justifying it with someone else’s crime is white nationalism in a cheap suit.
And pretending it’s anything less than that is complicity. Yes, you – if you defend this you are complicit in the ongoing attack on our freedoms.

We are not safer because of this.
We are not stronger because of this.
We are not better because of this.

We are just growing more and more accustomed to the sound of boots echoing through our broken system.

Remember those five words. I wonder how many of you can match the raw neurological power of our current president. Some of those words have multiple syllables, so concentrate folks.

The five words our beloved very stable genius, President Donald J. Trump, crushed with godlike precision in his latest Montreal Cognitive Assessment (MoCA) triumph were certainly different, but it doesn’t matter. Our Bigly King got a perfect score, again. A feat only achievable by the finest minds in history—or anyone who has ever successfully walked into a supermarket without drooling on themselves.

But let’s not diminish this achievement.

This is brilliance, folks. The real deal.

He looked at a lion, a rhino, and a camel—and named them all without hesitation. Not once did he say “Big Cat,” “Desert Horse,” or “Very Dangerous Elephant That’s Probably Chinese.” Nope. Drumpf just nailed it.

He Knew It Was Friday!

This isn’t your run-of-the-mill intelligence test.

This is serious business.

This is the kind of test where they ask challenging questions like:

• “What day is it?”
• “Where are you right now?”
• “Draw an analog clock showing 6:00”
• “Count backwards from 100 by sevens.”

And Trump didn’t just pass—he soared. He crushed it!

Sure, he had to put his Happy Meal aside long enough to remember what a clock looks like. And no doubt, he had to resist the urge to call the neurologist a “libtard” when asked to repeat those five words.

But he did it. He showed up and earned his lollipop.

He drew that clock. He remembered those words. He found the elephant.

Truly, this is what the founding fathers dreamed of when they envisioned a leader:

A man who knows what day of the week it is, can say 378 backwards and can tell the difference between a square and a circle.

A Cognitive Powerhouse

We should be grateful—blessed—to have a president who is not only capable of recognizing a cube and subtraction, but one who brags about it like he just solved unified field theory while juggling gold bars on a unicycle.

In Trump’s mind, this isn’t a basic screening for dementia.

It’s an IQ test, SAT, Mensa application, Nobel Peace Prize interview, and presidential fitness exam all rolled into one.

And he passed. With a perfect score! 30 out of 30, baby!

Because that’s what gifted people do.

They ace basic cognitive screenings and tweet about it like they cured cancer.

So Let’s Celebrate the Genius

Let’s raise a golden chalice filled with Diet Coke and toast the only man in history who thinks remembering simple words for less than 10 minutes, being able to tell time without those cool light-up numbers and not wandering into traffic is proof of a massive intellect.

Let’s thank him for reminding us that cognition is really, really hard to master.

And let’s now circle back to where we began.

Do you remember those five words?

Take a moment.

Say them out loud. Really savor them:

Person. Genius. Elephant. Dictator. Golf.

If you remembered all five, congratulations, you too might be qualified to run the country!*

_{*May require ignoring subpoenas, threatening judges, and bragging about identifying a bunny rabbit. No knowledge of basic economics and tariffs required.}

Let’s stop pretending.

Let’s stop picking sides like we’re at a high school football game and not standing waist-deep in a rotting democracy.

You don’t get points for rooting for the team that’s slightly less on fire.

You don’t win a trophy for choosing which narcissist gets to wear the crown while the empire collapses beneath him.

Biden was a husk and the Democratic Party is desperate to be cool again.. Trump is a hammer and the Republican Party no longer has policies, just populist ass kissing of their king. And both parties are dragging this country through the mud. No that’s not fair to mud- it washes off.

The Cult of Either-Or

You’re either for Trump or you were for Biden/Harris.

You’re either a red-hatted patriot or a blue-waving real American.

You either scream about Marxism or whisper about fascism.

And God forbid—God forbid—you pause long enough to admit the obvious:

Neither of these parties deserves your loyalty.

Not one damn inch of it.

Biden: The Lie of Stability

Let’s start with the Democrats belief that you can control a presidential campaign like a puppet show.

Joe Biden was not “the adult in the room.”

He was barely in the room at all.

While his party paraded him around like a Weekend-at-Bernie’s stand-in for dignity, the man was visibly, painfully, undeniably unwell. And they knew it. They knew. They hid it. They lied about it. They fed him scripts, skipped the questions, and photoshopped the truth out of sight.

That wasn’t leadership. It was political malpractice.

Covering up the mental decline of a sitting president isn’t just negligent—it’s despicable.

You don’t get a gold star for saying, “Well, at least he’s not Trump,” while the country gets run by a committee of aides, Autopens^TM and whispers.

Enter Kamala, Exit Strategy

Don’t get me wrong, Biden was absolutely never going to beat Donald Trump even before his doddering debate performance. The Democrats finally got Joe to see he couldn’t campaign anymore, but they were completely hamstrung. If Biden doesn’t endorse Harris, it shouts across the nation how little he thought of his VP. When he did endorse her, he did it with strings attached to everything she tried to do.

Harris had no platform other than she wasn’t Trump and parroted the Biden agenda.
That isn’t anywhere near enough to help a lame duck president turn over the campaign to a weak vice and expect anything but catastrophe.

Trump: The Cult of Retaliation

But let’s not pretend the current regime is offering anything sane.

Trump isn’t leading a movement and he didn’t have a mandate.

He’s building a fucking monarchy—dripping with vengeance, narcissism, and the delusional righteousness of a man who thinks obeying the law is for other people.

He has deported people with no due process and is proud of it. He has now openly threatened to exile American citizens he doesn’t like.

He’s defied court orders, mocked judges, and turned the Department of Justice into a joke punchline for his donors.

He acts tough and loves to ridicule his enemies but he cannot handle criticism without a hissy fit and a demand for boot licking.

The man engineered a stock market collapse, told people when it was time to buy, then pulled the recovery lever.

He is selling influence, trading favors with some of the worst people in the world, and stacking the deck for himself and his friends all while wrapping it in the flag and daring you to say something.

This isn’t politics. This is blatant self-enrichment. This is authoritarianism with a golf swing. This is a criminal and immoral executive branch and the legislative and judicial are not lagging far behind.

Two Frauds. One Nation. No Excuse.

So let’s say it plainly:

Biden is a doddering, hollowed-out lie of “normalcy.”

Kamala has a wild laugh without a clue how to relate to the very people she actually could have helped had she won.

Trump is a corrupt, deranged wannabe king with a grudge and a megaphone and googol eyes for dictators.

And if your only response is to scream “But what about the other guy!”

You. Are. The. Problem.

This isn’t about parties anymore. It’s about basic goddamn common sense.

Vote Like It’s Not a Game

You don’t vote for personalities. You vote for policies. You vote for integrity. You vote for people who don’t treat the country like a private portfolio or a hospice wing.

Stop choosing sides. Start choosing sanity. Start choosing your fellow citizens.

Because if we keep playing this stupid party game—if we keep shouting “them!” every time someone yells about “us”—then there will be nothing left to defend. The loss of our freedoms is imminent and most of you are just sitting on your asses hoping someone else does something “American.”

If we continue to think what our chosen masters tells us to think, what party mantra is the focus today, we are all going to be so docile and well-behaved sheep the fleecing will be trivial for them.

Vote for each other, not for the next set of bastards they tell you is the savior of your party.